The Case Against "Wearables"

March 20, 2014

Shawn Blanc, in his recent article Dumb:

Here is an exhaustive rundown of all the functionality of my watches: They tell the time of day (albeit they’re imprecise, and usually off by half a minute or so) and the date. The Seiko, being fancy, also tells the day of the week. And since neither watch knows what month it is, a few times per year I have to adjust the date forward from “29″ or “31″ to “1″.

That’s it.

But I don’t just wear a watch to know what time it is. Part of the reason I wear one is as an excuse not to pull out my iPhone.

This, 100 percent. Also, check out Craig Hockenberry’s Wearing Apple and Marco Arment’s commentary.

I’ve said it a thousand times: it’s going to take some seriously compelling hardware and software to get me to buy an “iWatch” or anything of the sort. Two of my coworkers own Pebble watches, and they seem just so incredibly  boring. I believe John Gruber said it best in episode 66 of his podcast The Talk Show, saying something to the effect of, “If Apple came out with a watch that looked like the Pebble, it would—and should—cause their stocks to collapse.”

Plus, my Skagen is just too damn pretty. Watches, to me (and many men and women,) serve equal parts fashion and utility. Call me old fashioned, but I don’t want, nor need, notifications beeping at me all the time in every possible place. (Yeah, I’m talking about you too, Google Glass.)

That’s not to say that I refuse to consider Apple’s rumored upcoming wearable tech. It just better be really, really awesome.