My outfit gives me super powers. Dressed up, I have the powers of confidence, of dependability and trust, of good first impressions. Plus, I look great. As long as I wear my jacket and tie, I feel like I can accomplish any task, surmount any hurdle, and deal with any unforeseen circumstance.
And that’s all you need, folks. It’s refreshing to see other guys give thought to their appearance—for whatever reason, there seems to be a stigma around men caring about such things. (Eyeroll.)